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Saturday, July 30, 2011

Alone...

24 hours have passed in which I have been 100% completely and utterly alone.

My children are away with their grandparents for the weekend. My mom is out of town. My best friend is doing her own thing.

I have not been alone and by myself for more than a few hours in well over a year. There is always someone here to keep me company, distract me, entertain me, check up on me, or rely on me for something.

I have been anxious and terrified to spend this time alone. I have dreaded it for days...but now that it is here I realize I am surviving it. Just like I have survived every other moment for the past year. The anticipation of this has proved worse than the actual experience of it, which is usually the case.

I have had moments of feeling lonely, but more than anything I feel triumphant.
One more thing that I have done, and done alone.
Literally.

15 comments:

  1. I am rooting for you! Glad you didn't lose your voice completely!

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  2. Sometimes, in grief, ALONE can be a good thing. God kind of has us as a "captive audience" when we're alone. No company....HE longs to keep you company and be your Comforter. No distractions....HE longs to have your undivided attention. No entertainment....HE longs to be your source of Joy. No one checking up on you....HE watches over His children like a mother hen. No one relying on you....HE longs for you to rely on HIM (for guidance, peace, joy, comfort, needs to be met....)

    I hope you find these things in your alone time. I'm so glad you are still "talking" to us here. Your insight and eloquent words move me.....

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  3. Hi there - I've been reading your blog and praying for you almost daily! I thought you might enjoy one of my very first post:

    http://shannonrojas.blogspot.com/2007/04/alone.html

    I don't blog that often anymore - it's been a long time (facebook has taken over my life) I probably should because so much has happened in my life and I really relate to so much of your writing - thank you and keep finding your voice - it is speaking to many!!

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  4. You have an amazing story and are so strong...I can't imagine what you have been through. I have a twin sister too and I don't know what I would do without her, One thing I know in this life is that growing up I was never "alone" because I always had my twin sister. Every year in school, our first jobs together, heck we even had our first babies at the same time! That's the good thing about twins, never alone. And though you feel alone right now you have your sweet girls who will always need you and love you. This life is only a blink compared to eternity. Thank God for that. Praying for you....xoxo Becky

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  5. Hi Brook, I came across your blog a few weeks ago and enjoyed reading it. You are a very strong women and have beautiful daughters. My best friend is going through a horrible divorce and I keep telling her that I know the Lord has a plan for all of us. I truly believe that I came across your blog because I needed a little extra reminder of that. Thank You for the reminder. I know that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us so dearly and that he has a plan for your and your sweet family. Prayers for you and your Girls~

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  6. Just hoping you might check your comments...I wanted to check in and see if you're alright?

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  7. I'm with Carol above...hope you and your family are well and doing okay? Roze x

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  8. Hope you're doing okay.

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  9. Just checking in and hoping you are doing well and finding joy and peace in your life. Hugs.

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  10. Just checking in also. Hope all is well. God Bless.

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