Check out my honors! (Click on the badges to see other great blogs too)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


Most days are good. Most days are filled with joy and laughter with the girls. Andie still crosses my mind every single day, and it is usually with fondness that I remember him. I still talk to him every night before I go to sleep. But there are still moments that cause my breath to catch and hot tears to well up in my eyes.

Like when the girls brought home artwork from school when they were learning about families. Little balloons on construction paper. Each balloon labeled, "Mommy", "Daddy", "Addison", and "Allison". I see the word "Daddy" and debate in my head whether is is more appropriate for them to have given him a place in their artwork or not...I decide in the end that I'm glad he was included.

Or like the moment in church this week when I had take a few deep breaths to hold back the tears because all of a sudden memories of us sitting in the pew whispering and snickering to each other like children came flooding back...

Or watching the girls play in the bathtub and realizing that he never got a chance to see their beautiful, playful personalities start to emerge...

Or the moment two nights ago when my wedding ring sitting on the bathroom counter caught my eye. I was compelled to put it on again to remind myself what my hand used to look like with it felt so heavy. I didn't remember it being so heavy.

Or even as I sit and type all of this and acknowledge to myself that the pain is still in fact, very much there, and very much real.

These are the kind of moments where just for a second the world stops again.
Where I am thrown back into a kind of surreal existence in which I have to make myself believe again that it all really happened.
These are the kind of moments that cause my breath to catch...


  1. Brooke, you are such an amazing strong woman. I can understand that feeling you are talking about. My husband was deployed to Iraq last year, and times I didnt talk to him for days, I just knew he was gone. I am praying for your strength.

  2. Glad to hear form you again. Believe it or not, I actually think about you from time to time and wonder how you're doing.

    (This would be perfectly reasonable if I actually KNEW you!)

    Just hoping you continue to have the strength to get through.

  3. Thanks for the feedback ladies...I will probably be getting back into blogging some more so stay tuned! Carol-Anne, you are such a sweetie for keeping me in your thoughts.