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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

It's all about you...

Something he used to say to me all the time was “It’s all about you.” Sometimes it was completely sincere, like on my birthday or if he was just feeling particularly sweet he would say “Today is all about you babe. We can do whatever you want to do today.” Sometimes if I was being selfish or demanding he would say with a hint of sarcasm, “Oh, today is all about you I see.” And it would bring me back to reality and help me realize I needed to think outside myself for the moment. Or if we just couldn’t decide what we wanted for dinner he would say, “Whatever you want…it’s all about you.”

The truth was, to him, it really was all about me. I was the center of his world and he let me know it. And he let everyone else know it too; not that he gushed about me to other people all the time, but you could tell by the way he looked at me, by the way he respected me, by the way he treated me. One of the most treasured conversations I’ve had since he’s been gone was with one of his really good friends from work. He called me a few days after Andie died and cried on the phone with me. He told me how much I meant to Andie, that I was his whole world, that he loved me more than anything, and he talked about me all the time. This friend even said he hoped that he and his wife could have the kind of love that Andie and I had. What we had was that was something that others envied and wanted to emulate.

Even though to Andie it was always all about me, I felt the same for him. I made decisions based on what I thought would make him happy. We placed each other before ourselves and I believe that is what made our relationship so strong. We were always wanting to please each other and do things that would make the other happy. Self-sacrificing for the greater good of the marriage. It wasn’t something we talked about, we just did it. We put each other first. So while he felt it was all about me…it really was all about him in my eyes. I feel so very grateful to have been able to experience love and commitment like we had. I don't think I'll ever be lucky enough to find it again.

This song is what got me thinking about all of this today because I know it’s exactly how Andie felt.

But really…
It’s still all about you babe.

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