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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Ignorance is bliss...

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. – H.P. Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu

I’m tired of trying to figure out the answer to the only real question I have: Why?
I am not meant to know the answer I suppose, or maybe there isn’t one. It is hard for me to fathom not being able to find an answer…if I just look hard enough and long enough, surely the reason will be revealed, right? Is it a riddle I’m too dense to figure out? Is it so simple it’s staring me in the face and I just can’t see it?

I think I’m most terrified of not having the answer not for myself, but for these two innocent little girls who will without a doubt ask me this very question one day, to which I won’t have an answer.

“Why did he have to die, Mommy?”

Perhaps I should be content with my ignorance and not voyage far…


  1. This post gave me chills. I have had this conversation many time with Maya (almost 4)and yet no answer I offer is 'good enough.' Some day Owen will ask...I wonder if my answer will change.

    I get this post, completely.

  2. That has been a question I've chosen not to dwell on. There is no sufficient answer this side of Heaven for me.

    Just found your blog earlier today. I'm so sorry for your loss. Widows are supposed to be little old ladies. How did this happen to us?