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Friday, April 29, 2011

A Big Step...

I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. – Thomas Edison

I have taken a huge step in this grief process.
I have taken off my wedding ring.

I feel the need to keep pushing myself onward through this and I can’t co-exist in two worlds. One in which I am still betrothed to my husband, and one in which I will allow new relationships and new beginnings into my life. I cannot continue to be committed to someone who is not here. “Til death do us part”…I said those very vows and I thought that I meant them. Turns out I meant “Til death do us part, plus 10 months just to be sure”.

So in an effort to keep moving and keep growing, to get out of the stagnation of grief, I have done something that tells the world that I am no longer married. I feel at ease and at peace with the decision. Something I could not even fathom just weeks ago.

It has taken me a long time to accept this for myself. I have taken a few steps forward and many steps back in this process. I know my steps will continue to falter along the way.

But I’m ready to embrace the new life set before me.
The life I must now cultivate and create based on my needs.
And I simply cannot do that if I stay married to a dead man.


  1. "And I simply cannot do that if I stay married to a dead man."


  2. Great post. I took my ring off after a few months or so...can't even remember now. What I do remember is not feeling married when I did it. But now, I don't really feel single. Widowed, I guess that's how I feel, widowed. Not in the victim sense anymore, but more empowered by my experiences as a career woman and a mom.

  3. great step forward...hard to do, but definitely necessary in order to move on and he would want you to move on and be happy.

  4. "But I’m ready to embrace the new life set before me."

    Every step, every day. Beautiful Brooke!

  5. I last wore mine on the day of my husband's funeral. Wearing it felt like a fraud with knowledge of his affair. I am happy for you that you had a happy marriage. This is a big step for you. No doubt a painful one that could easily tug you back. Good for you for moving onward and keeping your eye on today. Tomorrow will continue to get better.