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Wednesday, January 19, 2011


but·tress   [buh-tris]
1. any external prop or support built to steady a structure by opposing its outward thrusts

–verb (used with object)
2. to support by a buttress; prop up.
3. to give encouragement or support to (a person, plan, etc.).

I have my own buttresses in the form of some very important friends in my life. Every 18th of the month we get together for dinner as a way to get my mind off of the sad emotions of the anniversary. Not all of us are able to make it every time being that there are kids/spouses/jobs/ etc. to tend to, but there is usually no less than 4 of us. I look forward to this day the whole month and am always sad when the night has to end. They all bring a unique perspective to my life and understand me in a unique way. There is…

“The other half of my brain” –She thinks like me, knows how I tick, and gets me in a way that nobody else does. We can finish each other’s sentences or know what the other one is thinking with a simple look. She is the sister I never had. She has been there with me every step of the way, and no matter how small or slow I might be stepping- she’s behind me 100%. She epitomizes what a true friend is. I don't know how I'll ever live up to her example.

“My sister in-law”- she understands the family dynamics from the inside out. She knows the wonderful joys, and sometimes frustrations of being part of such a close knit family. She is one of the most patient and giving people I know...and she can always make me laugh!

“My light”- she is always in a good mood, kind to everyone she meets, and a true inspiration with her gentle, caring soul. I want to have a disposition like hers. I want to make everyone I come in contact with feel special, and worthy, and awesome like she does.

“The straight shooter”- the only other single mom in the group, she understands the tribulations of flying solo. She really gets what it’s like to not be overwhelmingly happy for others who are getting married/having a baby/in a new relationship, etc. because we know that life just isn’t always so grand. She keeps me grounded and has great perspective; never letting me get worked up over the small stuff.

“My fireman”-You know that fireman saying that they "run in when everyone else runs out"? Well, when everyone else ran out she ran in… okay, not everyone else ran out, but she is the happy surprise in all of this. Someone who has become closer to me through this because she stepped in and wasn’t afraid to do so. She didn’t avoid me like some people have. She was the casual friend who has become a true, close friend. I’m so thankful for people like her and for her courage- something I admire.

“The cheerleader” - She’s been my biggest cheerleader for writing a book about my grief and using the experience for good. Always ready to lend a hand with offers of help and support. And never afraid to tell it like it is and give me her honest opinion.

“The seen it all from the beginning friend” - married to my husband’s best friend, she has been around me the longest and knew Andie and I both before we were a couple. She is the only one to have known us as a couple for the entire time we were together. She knows the full history.

All of them give me something I need, and I can only hope that in some small way I am able to return the favor for them. They fulfill me, sustain me, prop me up, and support me…

Being an introvert, I’ve never been one to form lots of friendships. I remember in middle school when cliques and being left out was commonplace. I took on the stance that I didn’t need friends. I was perfectly happy being alone. And for the most part I was, and still am. But I distinctly remember a heart-to-heart talk with my father during that time in which he said, “Brooke, you need people. You can’t go through life alone.” And he was right.

And thank God for these wonderful angels that have been put in my path to help me learn that lesson once again. I do need people. I need them.


  1. so glad you have this...great idea to have people with you on the anniversary...

  2. i second that. great idea. and thanks for the new word. :)

  3. We use this thingy to help align sideing when we ahve to replace it after a hurricane at our beachhouse. We call it a "Butter-upper". It helps the boards butt up just right so they all stay together and aligned. That is what this group of firends it doing for you. God knew His plan long before and now you are on the journey to fullfill his plan. The plan SUCks at times, but one day the beuaty wil reveal itself. Keep up the hard work at being a bueatiful light for those girls. Heaven will be a glorious place for you, Andie and his sweet little ones! Praying for you...Your newest person you are buttering-up and know I am here to butter-up for you anytime needed!!!


  4. Great friendships are a two-way street and you have always, and continue to even in your time of stress, hold up your end. Love you